If I could put a dollar in my bank account every time someone said to me “God Does Not Give You What You Could Not Handle” – ” I Could Never Do What You Do” ,I would be living in Bahamas, on vacation, all year round; a thought more pleasing to the mind than I care to share with all of you. It is important to set the record straight (I am not sure if I speak on behalf of all special needs parents or not,so feel free to comment. I would love to know if I am not alone). I have a special secret to share, I am not special, I do not do anything out of the ordinary, God did not give me a special needs child on purpose, I am a parent, and I am doing my parental duties.
I am not going to say, life is not harder or deny parenting is more difficult. There are emotional moments, I am here to say as a parent, I do my best for my child, I am not better than the mom who takes care of her child who is terminally ill, the father who is a strong advocate for his special needs child, or the parent who sits with their typically developing child to do homework. Parenting is one of those things we look forward to, as part of a milestone in our lives, and the child we bare is not chosen by anyone, it is who we receive, accept and love unconditionally.
I understand people mean well, it is important to stop and think before one speaks, try to understand what you are saying and the impact it will have on the parent.
Here is Why You Should Refrain From This Saying:
1. This statement diminishes the amount of work, emotions, struggles and day to day challenges a parent does, by saying you got what you can handle.
2. A newly diagnosed parent may not feel a diagnosis of Autism is something to be happy about, it takes time, for parents to come to a place of acceptance.
3. You never know how a person is feeling at any given time, they may have had a challenging day, may be experiencing an emotional day, this is the last statement they want to hear.
4. When a parent of a special needs child is out on a night out, a party, couples dinner, remember they are out to have a night out, say something pleasant and nice, not something that is going to make them feel bad.
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