That’s right. You heard it right here, on the Able2Learn News Release, bringing you up to date and latest stories first before anyone else: Niam is in a relationship. She is beautiful without faults, he loves her, can’t live without her, and she loves him back. Her name is Miss CARBOHYDRATE winner of the Miss World Yummy Contest. I have been told by my more experienced friends, if you don’t like the girlfriend, don’t worry, when he’s tired of her, he will move on to the next, and your problems will be solved. I want all of you to know, I have been patiently waiting for the day the angels will sing from heaven and, a replacement will come from beyond the stars, and no girl of my liking has come forward. For those of you who know me well, I am a bit of a meddler in my children’s lives, and I have tried my best to introduce him to other beautiful beauties when she is not around.
I have another secret to tell you, I am a bit embarrassed about this, don’t tell anyone, cross your heart, swear on everything that matters , here goes, …. Niam cheats. I caught him on several occasions cheating with the same girl, Miss Ice Cream, I heard she won the Title for Miss Sweetness at the World Pageant, I still don’t like her!
Niam will not leave Miss Carbohydrate for anything. She will soon be my daughter in law and I must learn to love her. Please someone send me some wisdom, word of advice, how will I manage for the rest of my life, she is toxic, a danger to my son’s health, and she is a temptress to those around her.
I sign off in defeat. Miss Carbohydrate you may have won round 1, but I will win round 2. I have a trick or two up my sleeve. Stay Tuned!